It's really weird that my life is changing so much. I always thought that I wouldn't be a career drivin person..but that's exactly what I'm turning into. I am currently going to the spa school for esthetics. My goal in joining the program was that I'd be able to work at a Medi Spa, but now I'm realizing I'm going to need some kind of nursing degree to achieve that. Tomorrow I'm going to go to Columbus State and see what they have to offer as far as a nursing program goes. Everyone is saying that the waiting list is really long, it's kind of discouraging. I'm going to do it anyways. I'm still so younge, even though sometimes I feel so old. I'm only 25. I've accomplished so much in my short 25 years, I think I can do a lot more. I've had four kids, I have a marriage, I've had my ups and downs. Unfortunately right out of high school I didn't go straight into school mode, I started a family first. I think that in a way is against me in my planning. But really my kids will be in school when I start my career, and that will be a bonus. Child care won't be as expensive. Tim is also finishing up his degree. It would be nice for us both to have well paying jobs. I'm really lucky too to have all the support I do. Tim is ver supportive and so are my parents. I've always been such a planner so it's nice to sort of plan the next few years of my life. I have totally loved being a stay at home mom as long as I did. But there are always new chapters and new parts of life to be explored and that's where I'm at right now. Sometimes I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a cross road and there's so many paths I can take..it's a little scary to choose one, but I know I have to trust my heart and go with the one that feels right. Right now it feels right to talk to CSCC :)

On a whole nother note, my kids are changing so much! Mady and Max are talking a lot and they are following directions a lot better. It's so amazing to see how they are changing so much. Maddox is absolutely inlove with Santa. Everytime he sees him he gets so excited! He tries to say, 'ho ho ho' and he knows that Santa gives him presents. It's so cute :) Mady gets excited about Santa too..but when it comes time to see him she freaks out. Mikhail and Makenna can't wait for Christmas. I defiantely want to amke sure that we talk about the true meaning of Christmas with them. But I can't help but to be excited about thier presents. We don't buy them toys very often since they have so many..I really get excited for the excuses to buy them presents!

Max has to go to the doctor tomorrow to check on his ear infections. I think the poor kid just always has them and is going to be getting tubes soon :( I'm scared to think about him getting tubes..but I hate the thought of him being in pain over ear infections :(

Anyways, I try to keep up on the blogs, but a lot of times I fall behind.

The kids are doing amazing. Mikhail is learning SO much! I'm able to sound out a word for him and he's able to spell it for me! He's so smart <3 Makenna is a great daner! She loves ballet and I just love taking her! She's such a sweet and smart little girl. She's really doing well with daycare too! She has a lot of friends there. She even has her first boyfriend Gannon :) She told me that Gannon wants to marry her and one day I went to drop Makenna off and he came running across the room to hug her! I was like WOW, if she's only four and already doing this..imagine 10 years in the future..aye yae yae

Mady & Max have aweful dry sking. Max more than Mady. The doctors tell me to put vasaline on it and hydrocortizone cream, but I don't think it's helping. I'm going to start looking towards some home remidies to try and help them. Today I gave them a bath and let them soak in an Aveno bath soak for dry skin. Max has been crying a lot lately at bath time, and I don't know if it's because it hurts or because he doesn't like the bath..but today he didn't cry :) I wrapped them up in hooded bath towels and they cuddled me like they were still my little babies :) I loved it so much and I just cherished it. They have grown so much, but they are still my babies. It's funny when we go to the day care they see the babies, and they get down and they make little baby noises at the babies..but they are really almost the same size. They are too cute

Teaching the kids organics (:

Today was my day off of school for the week. It really feels weird to be committed to the school four days a week. It really makes the week go really fast! Fridays are awesome days. They are my days to catch up on everything I need to catch up on. Today I was supposed to read a story to Mikhail's class about Christmas. I went to the book store and made sure to pick one out that would tell the real reason of Christmas, Jesus's birth! Of course Mikhail woke up throwing up this morning and he just couldn't go to school. I feel really bad, and I hope the teacher will let me reschedule. Today Mikhail and I just spent the day cleaning up. We had a good day together. Tonight Tim went to practice martial arts to start getting active, and I had a spa night with the kids. Makenna and I had a Mayo & Avacodo hair mask to help with our dry hair. Then we made a face mask with egg, honey, and lavender essential oil that Mikhail, Makenna & I all put on. It was fun and great time together! One reason I decided to go to The Spa School was so that I'd be able to teach the kids good skin care habits. It's fun, even though they are only four and five years old..but it's awesome bonding time. I like teaching them things, and this is definately something I am passionate about. Tonight I told her about make 'organic' products..because she thinks everything should come from the store. I want her to understand the benifits of making your own products and what they do for you. I want to teach all of my kids that. I think the twins are a little too young right now, but Mikhail and Makenna are very into it! It's so fun :)

ohh my..today is only wed. and I'm competely exhausted by this week already! Thankfully there's only one more day left in my school week and then I have a three day weekend with the family :) There's lots of fun Christmas themed things going on this weekend, so I fully plan to spend lots of quality time with them :)

School is going really well. The first week got off to a rough start. I came in every day and played on my computer and didn't do anything. Now I'm really starting to do student services and I'm also doing a lot of research and learning makeup and natural remidies. I'm trying to learn more about the basics of skin care, because I think that's important to understand the more complex parts of it. Unfortunately the hours I go to school are the hours people are working, so I don't get a lot of clients coming in. Today I did a brown and lash tinting which I was really excited about! I also have been doing basic facials, and I feel pretty confident about them. Tomorrow I'm going to focus more on deep pores. It feels really good to be learning and really apply myself to what I'm doing.

It's a little rough part which I know I just have to suck it up and learn to play the game..I can't stand how caddy and petty some girls are. There are a lot of girls that I absolutely love there..but there are some that just make me cringe. I guess it's all just how we were brought up and we all have different back grounds..and that's how it's going to be wherever I go..but it's really frustrating some days. Today was one of those days. Tim and I talk a lot about how we want to raise the kids and how we plan to deal with things financially..and it's annoying to hear people critize that. We have four kids all within three years..so to say that we are going to pay for thier college is unrealistic. I will however always provide housing and transportation and food ect..I don't want them to worry about that..just thier education. But then people are like how are you going to bring four kids into this world and not pay for thier college. I think that's rude. I love my kids and I will do anything for them. I will instill in them that thier education is very important...BUT you have to think realistically..and I won't be able to afford to send all of my kids to school on my dime. Anyways, it's a part of school that annoys me..but for the most part I look forward to going. I'm excited about learning new things every day..and I am making new friends which is awesome :)

Today was December fist and it was the first day it snowed! The kids were amazed! They ran to the door and they were chanting that it was snowing, and Makenna said, 'it's Christmas!' I love their little minds :) Last year the babies were too little last year to like the snow..but today ahhh I wish I could have caught thier expression on camera. Maddox was twrilling around with his hands in the air and just laughing and running through the snow and Mady was compeletely amazed. It's going to be a really fun winter with them. Last year when it snowed I put them in thier high chair and brought snow inside for them to play with..this year they'll be able to tromp through it..it's going to be a blast! They still really aren't talking, but they both were trying to say, 'snow' which sounded more like 'nooo' it was cute though :) It was still snowing tonight, so maybe when we wake up in the morning it will have stuck to the ground and I can see thier excitement again. They are really amazed with Christmas lights and they keep pointing to Santa statues and they get excited..I love it! I'm hoping this will be the best Christmas ever!

I just took a break from the blog to talk to Tim about the kids..and it just makes my heart melt talking about how amazing they are and how much we love them :) Makenna's school was teaching her about occupations and she said she wanted to be in the marching band like mommy when she grows up. Mikhail said he wants to be in construction like Daddy :) I love how they love us. They are really amazing little kids! Anyways..it's getting late and I have class again in the morning..so I'll write more tomorrow

I'm taking on another project :P This one more useful then the past of course. We were using the fourth bedroom in the basement to store stuff..and I've decided to start going through our boxes and getting rid of things we don't need and don't use. I'd like to turn that room into a play room for the big kids. Lately the big kids have been playing in thier room more and have been playing by themselves away from the babies. I don't want there to be a big speration between big kids and babies..but I understand the big kids are starting to like things that are just to big for the babies. For Christmas Mikhail asked for legos, which babies will just swallow and loose. Makenna wants a doll house and I just don't want the babies to wreck that. Plus the big kids are really into art and they need a place to be creative and hang thier art work with out the babies stealing thier stuff and loosing it all over the house. There's a really nice table downt there right now that they can use to do art on and I have storeage shelves for them already. The rest of the room will be really nice for Mikhail to do legos and and for Makenna's doll house we are going to get her for Christmas. I was also thinking it would be nice, if it's possible to put the tv down there for them to be able to play the wii on it. There's a lot more games for little kids on the wii then there is on Tim's xbox 360. Anyways, I had just taken a short break from cleaning and I'm going to get back to it..more later :P

Welp, I'm offically a Senior at school. Doesn't really mean the same thing as when you're a senior at a university..but it also doesn't cost as much ;) Today was my second day as a senior. It wasn't quiet as exciting as my first day. I was just at the table pretending to be busy...when I was really just being tired and lazy..and Ms. Nixon came by and told me I had my first facial. I'm not going to lie, I was scared to death. I litterally thought I might get sick. I completely forgot how to do anything. It was all ok though. My client was so nice. Even though I forgot a lot of stuff, I'm pretty sure I did well. She gave me a five dollar tip and most imprortantly she rebooked with me! Her rebooking with me in December was the biggest compliment. It was such a great expierence for working on my first person. I know there's still so much more for me to learn. I still have so many more first expierences at the spa school...and I know I'm going to be nervous for a while and I can't wait for the day when that passes and I just feel so confident doing services that there's no nervousness.

The only thing I really can't stand about the school is that you basically stop learning after juniors, and you don't learn enough in juniors to get you through. I feel like there's a lot of stuff I have to teach my self and learn on my own. When I go into school, we basically sit at a table and do nothing the whole time unless we choose to. But I have faith in my self that I will excel at this. I feel like I have the drive and the determination. It was definately a big compliment when my first client told me I was in the right feild of work and that I was good at it :)

I still don't know where our future is going to take us. I don't know what I'm going to do once I'm out of school. I'd really like to work in a spa. I'm definately thinking about interning and hopefully that will land me a job. I think the best way to learn is by watching and working. For so long I've only seen Tim and I's life in Gahanna..but I'm starting to see that eventually were are going to travel outside of this bubble and we are going to explore life outside of gahanna. I know this blog is taking a different turn..but that's kind of just how I write my blogs. But Gahanna is becoming everything I despise in towns. I can't wait to get out of here. This used to be a little town and it used to be personable. I feel like they have expanded so large. I don't want my kids growing up just being a number and a statistic in the school system. I want them to be a name and a person and I want a teacher to see the potential in them. I definately want the small town school and life experience for my family and I. I was talking to a girl in class today and she lived out in the country and we talked about the dirt bikes and four wheelers..and there's just a whole nother life to expierence outside of the city life and that's what I want to expierence.

I'm really stressed out tonight and need a little blog therapy before I go to bed. I had applied for Title 20 to help me out with daycare. It's $242 a week per kid..and since I have four kids..that's about 4 grand a month..insane. I don't know who can afford to pay that? I just feel like with out day care I'll never be able to work or go to school. Tim's job is so physically demanding, I can't expect him to take care of the kids as soon as he gets home so I can go work or go to school. I can't believe they waited to tell me I wasn't going to have daycare until like four days before my full time school schedule started :( I just feel like things are really hard right now. I had Mady and Max in a good routine at thier daycare. They really liked thier teachers and they had friends..and now they might now have a spot in daycare by the time I get everything approved. I just really want to get out of this rut that I'm in right now. It's so hard because I'm only 25 and I feel like the things I deal with and go through on a daily basis are things that people in their 40s deal with..not 25 year olds. I wouldn't trade my kids or my husband for anything..I just wish there weren't the struggles sometimes. I feel like I know there will be a light at the end of the tunnle I just want to see it sometime soon.