It's so hard to be a planner when plans always change. I always think things so far out and things just constantly change. I had planned on working more and going to school very part time. But works not giving out as many hours as I'd like..so I think I'm going to completely flip it. I'm going to go to school a lot and work a very little. I know Tim and I can use the money with me working..but it really would be nice to graduate in May. I'm a little worried about becoming a senior, because all the seniors do is bitch about how much they can't stand it. I guess I'll just try to soak up all the knowledge I can. I'm bound and determinded to be successful. I really think that there's been so many people against me..it just feuls me to be more and to do better. Some day I'm going to own my own spa. I know I can do whatever I want, I just have to do it. I'm excited to kind of buckle down and knock my school out!

Now that the kids are in daycare almost everyday...I try to make the most out of my time with them when they get home. I picked them up today and we went trick or treating at giant eagle..which was so cute! The kids just couldn't get over doing that in a grocery store. Mikhail and Makenna noticed there was a new bank at the store and when Mikhail saw Tim he told him there was a job for him at the bank :) I think it's so cute that they associate banks with Tim :) That's what he's done every since they were babies. After we went trick or treating we went and saw Tim for his dinner break. I really love that. I don't think Tim knows how much I enjoy going to see him on his break. But we just drove around while he ate and we talked about school and work and everything..we are such planners and it drives me crazy sometimes. But it's always good to have a plan :). After we dropped him back off at work we went home to eat and the babies got a bath. I had bought the big kids a bingo game today. I thought it would help them read numbers and letters. They loved it! We had so much fun playing and they did such a good job reading the numbers and letters..I was really proud of them..and it's really good family time :) We played until all three of us got a bingo. I really want to teach them to be good sports about winning and loosing.

Max and Mady are starting to talk a lot more! Max said 'Sissy' for the first time yesterday. His faveorite word right now is Bubba :) he also says, Mama, Dada, and I've heard him say drink but it sounds more like dink a could of times. Mady is trying to talk more too. She's says Buba well, and she says, 'Brrrr' when it's cold and 'uhoh' a lot. She's saying Mama and Dada too. She really likes B words though! It's amazing to hear all the things they are saying and they way thier little personalities are shining through.

I haven't fully adjusted into our new life style yet. I assume that will happen this week when I am scheduled almost every single day. I hope that it just eventually becomes second nature for me and I don't feel so tired all the time. Because right now I just always feel so exhausted. I don't think people understand what it feels like for me. I've been a stay at home mom for so long. I've not really had to answer to anyones schedule ever. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. I'm not trying to sound like a spoiled brat, it's just really the way my day went. It started to change with Mikhail when I had to start being here for him to get off the bus. That really limited the things I could do with the kids during the day. But I love Mikhail going to school. He has so much fun with his friends. I got to see him interact with them at the Walk a Thon..and it was so cute. He knew so many kids and everyone was nice to everyone. I love this age right now when everyone is just friends and there's no judgements. But now I have to answer to my job and to school. I can't just do things with the kids when I want to. Some times I think about it and I start to panic. I feel like maybe they'll think I'm abandoning them at daycare. I know that's not how they think and I know they have lots of fun. I just miss being with them all day and I think I'm punishing my self by making myself feel bad about it. I know that I definately enjoy the time I do have with them a lot more. We definately make the most of it. Thursday I didn't have to work and Mikhail didn't have school and Tim didn't have to work until 5..so we took the kids to Blackhand Gorge. I used to go there with my family when I was little and it's amazing to be able to share that with my kids. It was absolutely beautiful. Tim and Mikhail got to go off on the tracks and have a blast. Makenna played in the leaves and the babies got to run around. It was a really perfect fall day! That's one of the good parts about having a day off when you work all the time..you really make the most of it. No lazy days anymore :) Madelyn and Maddox are actually trying to talk a lot more. Yesterday when we were at my dad's, she was saying, 'pap pap' and when you ask her what a pirate says, she says, 'argggg' Maddox is saying, 'Mama' and 'Dada' & 'Nana' a lot more. They are starting to make sounds and attempt to talk. I'm really proud of them. When I went to pick them up from the day care yesterday, Maddox was working on a collage with his friends. He was gluing fall leaf cut outs on a big piece of paper. I just really think daycare is a good thing for them. I think me going back to work it a really good thing for our family. It's just the first time I've ever really had a demanding job that I have to be there for a full shift almost every day. I'm not bieng a baby about it, it's just a lot of adjustment. I got promoted too :) I was just a reg sales assoc..but I'm in prestige now! I'm really excited about that. I'm trying so hard to make a good name for myself with the company and I really want to move up. I always think it's good to have goals, it keeps you striving for something more :) Anyways, I guess this was just some of the randomness on my mind..lol there seems to be a lot of that lately.

My life has changed so much I sort of don't recognize it! I've been a stay at home mom for so long, and in September I started school..which was a big thing for me. I go Tuesday and Thursday nights and Saturday all day. Tim's been so supportive of me and so have my parents. It feels nice for them to support me in doing something that I really want to do, even if it means more strain on them..because I really lean on them for help with the kdis. And then I applied for a job at Ulta. I got hired on as a sales associate, my goal is to be an esthetican with them when I finish with my school. Since I started a job, the kids have to go to day care during the day. That was a really big step for Tim and I. It's really hard to trust someone with our kids. It's sad for me to know someone else is loving on my kids and doing fun things with them..when that's my job. But I know that they are having a lot of fun and that day care is a really good thing for them. They have so much fun and they are happy to go! Everyday they go, I get a report from the teachers on the things they did and how they did during the day. I really love to read the papers and to just know that I'm doing the right thing for my kids. I know that I'm doing what's best for our family, and that makes me feel really good!