I haven't fully adjusted into our new life style yet. I assume that will happen this week when I am scheduled almost every single day. I hope that it just eventually becomes second nature for me and I don't feel so tired all the time. Because right now I just always feel so exhausted. I don't think people understand what it feels like for me. I've been a stay at home mom for so long. I've not really had to answer to anyones schedule ever. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. I'm not trying to sound like a spoiled brat, it's just really the way my day went. It started to change with Mikhail when I had to start being here for him to get off the bus. That really limited the things I could do with the kids during the day. But I love Mikhail going to school. He has so much fun with his friends. I got to see him interact with them at the Walk a Thon..and it was so cute. He knew so many kids and everyone was nice to everyone. I love this age right now when everyone is just friends and there's no judgements. But now I have to answer to my job and to school. I can't just do things with the kids when I want to. Some times I think about it and I start to panic. I feel like maybe they'll think I'm abandoning them at daycare. I know that's not how they think and I know they have lots of fun. I just miss being with them all day and I think I'm punishing my self by making myself feel bad about it. I know that I definately enjoy the time I do have with them a lot more. We definately make the most of it. Thursday I didn't have to work and Mikhail didn't have school and Tim didn't have to work until 5..so we took the kids to Blackhand Gorge. I used to go there with my family when I was little and it's amazing to be able to share that with my kids. It was absolutely beautiful. Tim and Mikhail got to go off on the tracks and have a blast. Makenna played in the leaves and the babies got to run around. It was a really perfect fall day! That's one of the good parts about having a day off when you work all the time..you really make the most of it. No lazy days anymore :) Madelyn and Maddox are actually trying to talk a lot more. Yesterday when we were at my dad's, she was saying, 'pap pap' and when you ask her what a pirate says, she says, 'argggg' Maddox is saying, 'Mama' and 'Dada' & 'Nana' a lot more. They are starting to make sounds and attempt to talk. I'm really proud of them. When I went to pick them up from the day care yesterday, Maddox was working on a collage with his friends. He was gluing fall leaf cut outs on a big piece of paper. I just really think daycare is a good thing for them. I think me going back to work it a really good thing for our family. It's just the first time I've ever really had a demanding job that I have to be there for a full shift almost every day. I'm not bieng a baby about it, it's just a lot of adjustment. I got promoted too :) I was just a reg sales assoc..but I'm in prestige now! I'm really excited about that. I'm trying so hard to make a good name for myself with the company and I really want to move up. I always think it's good to have goals, it keeps you striving for something more :) Anyways, I guess this was just some of the randomness on my mind..lol there seems to be a lot of that lately.