Monday

It's 130 already? Can that be right? Doesn't seem so..I don't even know what I've done with my day today. I guess another lazy day ahead for us. I really should be packing and cleaning..I can't wait to move. We aren't supposed to start moving until May..so I really shouldn't rush things. I guess I can wait for another week to start. I just keep picturing how easy everything will be once we are in a bigger house that has more storeage and I'm able to have the space I want.

Bear's doing a lot better. We are letting him run around the house more often. We'll just the living room actually. We have him all blocked off so we can watch him at all times. He's still just a pup and loves to chew on things..and he still occassionally pees in the house. So I have to make sure to catch him in the act so he's knows it's wrong. I think when we move it will be much easier to have him inside. It's all hardwood floors in the new house..so I don't have to worry about carpet so much. And I'll be gating the play room off..so he won't be able to chew up the kids toys or bother them while they are playing. He's a really good walking buddy! I map quested from my house to speed way and it's a little over 3.5 miles..and I've been walking that every day and then some..I try to get about five miles of walking in a day atleast. At first he was having a really hard time making the trip..but now he's doing well. He's actually a lot stornger than me sometimes, and I'm finding myself having to restrain him while we walk..I guess it's working my arm muscles too!

I've started reading Midnight Sun...I promised myself I wouldn't. I hate reading on the computer..but I absolutely love it. I love it being told from Edwards prospective..it's like reading a whole new book..even though I kind of already know what's going to happen. I can't wait for Eclispe to come out in June...ahhh I can't wait :) It will be the first of the movies I've actually seen in the theater..and I'll be seeing it openening day!

Ugh the weather is cold and rainy today. I woke up thinking for sure I would be taking the kids to AHA or some adventure..but as soon as I felt the weather outside...I changed my mind. I wish I had some money to go spend. I'm obsessed with getting things for the kids play room and buying new books. I currently have three on my wish list..and Tim said I could get them..but of course I misplaced my bank card and have to reorder a new one now...who knows how long that will take. I think I really want to work on building my library. But I've been told I'm a book snob, and I only like hardcover books..that makes them more expensive. Oh well :) I've been going to half priced books a lot. The kids are into the Spiderwick Cronicles. We've read the first one and I just bought the second one. I'd like to get the whole series for them. I know once they are able to read on thier own they'll like to read them again, and the twins will like to read them when they are older too.

I was laying in bed today looking at Makenna, and I couldn't believe that she'll be going to preschool this year. And she's going to be FOUR when she goes. Mikhail what THREE when he went. So I had an extra year at home with her. I'm not sure if I'm ready to give her up yet. To let her spend her days at school and not with me. I know that's selfish. Most people are probably thankful for the break..which is ironic, because I'm always wishing for a break. But I know once they start school, it won't stop until she's moved out...maybe even married. Then I started thinking about the twins. They'll be two this year, so too young for prek..but the following school year, I could techniqually send them to pre k. But I don't think I will. I don't know. I think it would be ok to wait until they are four and only do one year of pre k with them before they start kindergarten. They are my last babies, and I want to hold on to that. I don't want to force them to grow up to quickly...I know I'll look back one day and wish I had more time with them being little. I've always held on to the hope that maybe one day I would get the suprise of being pregnant again. I never really thought the twins would be my last babies. But I'm realizing that they are my last babies. I'll have to hold out for the hope that some day my brother will have a baby and I'll get to be Auntie Shannon :) Lately I've seen so much saddness surround babies, and I don't think I would be able to handle that. I know I really pushed my body giving birth to the twins..I don't know how much is left of my birth giving abilities..and I don't want to push it to find out. I guess there comes a time in your life when you have to stop wishing for more or looking to the future and just be content with what you have and where you are in your life. I say that for myself, but for my friends also. I can't stand how everything seems to be a race with all of my friends, who has the best husband, the perfect family, the most expensive house, or the best possesions. I'm happy for all of my friends..and I hate when people try to make me feel like I have to compete with them. We don't have to compete with anyone, because we are happy with were we are..and to me, I feel like that's the best spot to be in. I don't know, maybe that's a little food for thought for the people who feel like they always have to brag about thier possesions or thier life. And before anyone can say it or even think it..that's not what my blogs are about. My blogs are my thoughts being put into writting that some day I might come back and read them and remember where I was or where I felt on that particular day.

Anyways, that was a random rant. I'm sitting here on the couch while the kids are watching tv and playing together, I have the curtains open and I'm just having a moment :) I suppose it's time to put the computer away and do something with the second half of my day.